THE ENGLISH ROSE

It was a moment that shocked you.  Like the Kennedy assassination, or nine eleven, and you can remember where you where when it happened.  I remember where I was. 
I was sitting in my living room watching television when the bulletin flashed on the screen.  I just sat there starring at the TV not quite able to comprehend what was playing out before me.  I couldn't move, Couldn't breath. I didn't want to believe it.  I can remember thinking, "This can't be true",  "There must be some mistake." Some horrible misunderstanding that will be cleared up in a few minutes".    
but it wasn't.  Princess Diana was gone and nothing could change that terrible fact. 
It's been many years since she left us, but I think of her still.  Those beautiful blue eyes, that warm engaging smile.  Much has been written about her since her death but what can not be disputed is how she touched the  lives of so many, and furthered so many good causes.  She was a breath of fresh air.  Warm, caring, down to earth, and always true to herself.  I'll think of her again today....  And I'll smile.

MR. GET EVEN

"I gave that bitch everything".  "Nice house, new car, I treated her like a queen, and it still wasn't good enough for her."  "I'll never make that mistake again."
Ladies, if you ever run into this guy, better keep on running because you've just come across "Mr. Get Even."
He's the guy who's had his ass handed to him by someone he loved and now he's locked & loaded and looking for revenge.  Problem is, the chick who screwed him over is usually long gone by the time you meet up with him and now you're the one who will have to pay.  No more Mr. nice guy for him, because as far as he's concerned, all you bitches are the same.
So ladies, do yourselves a favor and stay far away from "Mr. Get Even" or you'll end up paying for someone else's actions.

MR. WONDERFUL

He knows you want him.
You and every other living female entity on the planet. 
Ever run into this clown?  He's the guy you can't even say hello to without him thinking you want to take him to bed.  Because he knows you do.  Everyone does.
  He's Mr. Wonderful!  He could be toothless, bald as a peach, and butt ugly to boot, but when he looks in the mirror he sees an Adonis starring back at him. 
Mr. Wonderful usually preys on women with little to no self esteem.  Because they're the only ones who'll have him.  So steer clear of this fool ladies, or you'll spend the rest of your days listening to "The Wonders of Him."

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THE OFFICE SKANK

     If you've ever worked, chances are you've run across one at some point in your career.  But just on the off chance that you haven't, here's how you can tell an "Office Skank" when you see one.
     She sets her own hours and saunters in at any, and all times of the day.  She leaves whenever the mood strikes her.  You however, must be at your desk at the appointed time, and remain there until the work day is over.
     Same lunch time as everyone else? 
Oh hell no! She goes whenever she feels like it usually slipping out with the boss only to return hours later looking none the worse for ware, while you have to work in the time to take a piss because your allowed only the standard half hour lunch, and God help you should you try to leave early, or return later.
     She gets first pick of all the best vacation weeks and you find yourself having to work around her schedule in order to eek out a little time off.
     No dress code for this bitch as evidenced by the skirt she wears around her neck each day, or the "lip splitter" jeans tight enough to read the date on the dime in her pocket, along with that shirt that for some reason, just can't seem to stay buttoned up when the boss is around.  Add to this this the six inch spiked platform heels she wobbles around on and what you have there is "The Office Skank".
     And here you've been working your ass off for years for half the money this chick is getting paid and she's only been there a week.
     But don't you worry your hard working self about it because these Little bitches are nothing more than ass kissers in disguise with a killer bod, and a strippers wardrobe.  They, like their fellow ass kissers think they have a special rapport with the boss.  But there is a difference between your normal every day ass kisser and the office skank.
     The ass kisser can go on indefinitely kissing ass to achieve their goals, but the office skank has a shelf life that lasts only as long as that killer bod does.  Once those double D's start to sag and that tight little ass starts to look like a deflated balloon, the clock starts ticking on the office skank.  And unless she can keep her shape with those deep knee bends she's been doing in front of the boss, or she's lucky enough to snare him into marriage (a feat that's usually already been achieved by a prior office skank who was smart enough not to sign a pre-nup) she will one day find herself in the position of having nothing left to flaunt, and no "real" working experience.
     So the next time you come across an office skank don't sweat it because you won't have to come up with a way to get even.  Time will do that for you.  Just smile and think to yourself, Tic... toc....tic...toc, I'll be here long after she's done stroking the bosses...
      .....ego.
Thought I was gonna say something else didn't you.