Thursday, December 13, 2012

"THE GOOD OLD DAYS"

When George Bailey (It's A Wonderful Life) stood on a bridge in Bedford Falls staring down at the water while contemplating his fate, He had no way of knowing then that those days would one day come to be known as
"The Good Old Days" 
George's problem was a lack of funds to save his business and reputation. and provide for his family.  Years before George, Bob Cratchit (A Christmas Carol) would face the same dilemma  of  making  ends meet while trying to put food on the table for his family and keeping a roof over their heads.  Both being honorable men of integrity, neither of them would ever have dreamed of doing anything unlawful to obtain what they needed to survive.  In those days Honor and a good reputation were things one strove for.
Back then Merry Christmas meant just that and Nobody made a fuss about the Jewish family down the street who lit a menorah instead of putting up a Christmas tree.   People celebrated the season in what ever way they were accustomed to.
 Nobody cared about designer labels, or getting the latest toy, or the most expensive thing on the market.  An apple and a few pennies in a stocking would bring joy to a child's heart on Christmas morning.  They had gotten something for Christmas. 
And it was enough.
Santa Claus and The Nativity Scene were displayed in homes, churches, and shops everywhere and no one complained about it.  No one cared to.  There were more important things to worry about.
Like the family across town with five children who had just lost their father and were facing the Holidays without him this year.   Or the widow up the way who lived alone with nothing but memories to spend her Christmas with.
People cared about the welfare of their friends and neighbors, and they did all they could to help them with out a thought about what they themselves wanted, or didn't have.
Perhaps there is a reason why they are called "The Good Old Days"

Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. xoxox

Thursday, November 8, 2012

BABY TALK

I've seen a lot of elections come and go and some of them can be very entertaining. 
But  the funniest thing I've seen by far has got to be how pissed off and infantile some voters can act when the person they voted for doesn't win. 
And God help you should you use the "L" word (loser) around them because they'll get hotter than a two year old who's just had their blankie taken away.  And they'll act like one to. 
These narcissistic individuals just can't seem to accept the fact that not only are they not the majority, they were voted down by the people who were.  And you can bet your ballot box they'll find someone to blame it on because in their minds, it is inconceivable that everyone else does not feel the same way they do. 
Wanna really piss them off?
Tell them you didn't vote at all.  They'll call you everything but an American.
"Well you've got no right to bitch then"  they'll hiss at you.
WRONG AGAIN BIG MOUTH!
 I've got every right to bitch about anything I please because like it or not, I'm an American just like you.  And as such, if I don't care for the candidates who are running, I have the right as an American citizen not to vote for either one of them.  Or not to vote at all if I so choose, without having to worry about falling victim to people who think they can verbally bully everyone else into doing what they want them to do. 
Maybe next election, instead of handing out stickers to people after they cast their vote, they should hand out pacifiers instead.  It probably won't pacify the most narcissistic of voters, but it might at least shut them up so no one else has to be subjected to the nasty-ass attitudes they get when their candidate doesn't win.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT MR. PUTIN

Two members of the band Pussy Riot are to be transferred to a remote Penal Colony after losing their appeal to stay in a pre-trial detention center. 
Conditions at the colony are described as squalid, and inmates are at times treated brutally.
Russian law dictates that only inmates with less then six month prison terms can stay at the pre-trial detention center and both women were given a 2 year sentence after being convicted of Hooliganism, motivated by religious hatred for a cathedral protest  against Vladimir Putin. 
Hooliganism.  Not shooting the place up, bombing it, or harming anyone.
How dare they pray!  And in a church of all places. 
I don't know how you feel about it but with all due respect, If I was Mr. Putin, considering what's going on in allot of other places in the world today,  I'd consider myself truly blessed if the worst thing I had to worry about was a group of girls praying in church.
In my opinion (for whatever it's worth) These girls might deserve a fine for what they did but 2 years in a Penal Colony?
well that just seems a bit excessive to me.......I'm just sayin.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

FISH FOOD

You could have done so much good.
You could have used your resources to help people in so many different ways.  you could have:
Invested in your country.
Fed and clothed your hungry.
Built schools to better educate your children.
Provided housing and jobs for your people.
You could have made life easier for so many.
But you chose another path instead.
So it's several years on now and there you are.  By now a rotted mass of nothing.  A floating pile of fish shit.
Was it worth it?  killing thousands of men women and children?  Did you achieve what you wanted to achieve?  Is the world now following your way of life? Believing what you believe?  Living as you want them to live? 
No they are not.  And you wanna know why?   Because you were nothing new that's why.  We were fighting fools like you who thought they could take over the world long before we ever put a boot in your ass.  You weren't the first one, and you won't be the last.  You couldn't even manage to be original could you.
You could have achieved greatness.
 Instead you ended up hiding out for the better part of your life.  Hunted down like the animal you chose to be.  A  scared, addled, feeble old man clutching to his outdated beliefs.
You died without victory or honor which is fitting because you didn't deserve either.
Thousands will be remembered today for the heroes they are, while you will be remembered for the coward you were.

Friday, August 31, 2012

THE ENGLISH ROSE


It was a moment that shocked you.  Like the Kennedy assassination, or nine eleven, and you can remember where you where when it happened.  I remember where I was. 
I was sitting in my living room watching television when the bulletin flashed on the screen.
  I just sat there starring at the TV not quite able to comprehend what was playing out before me.  I couldn't move, Couldn't breath. I didn't want to believe it.  I can remember thinking, "This can't be true",  "There must be some mistake." Some horrible misunderstanding that will be cleared up in a few minutes".    
but it wasn't.  Princess Diana was gone and nothing could change that terrible fact. 
It's been many years since she left us, but I think of her still.  Those beautiful blue eyes, that warm engaging smile.  Much has been written about her since her death but what can not be disputed is how she touched the  lives of so many, and furthered so many good causes.  She was a breath of fresh air.  Warm, caring, down to earth, and always true to herself.  I'll think of her again today....  And I'll smile.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

MR. GET EVEN

"I gave that bitch everything".  "Nice house, new car, I treated her like a queen, and it still wasn't good enough for her."  "I'll never make that mistake again."
Ladies, if you ever run into this guy, better keep on running because you've just come across "Mr. Get Even."
He's the guy who's had his ass handed to him by someone he loved and now he's locked & loaded and looking for revenge.  Problem is, the chick who screwed him over is usually long gone by the time you meet up with him and now you're the one who will have to pay.  No more Mr. nice guy for him, because as far as he's concerned, all you bitches are the same.
So ladies, do yourselves a favor and stay far away from "Mr. Get Even" or you'll end up paying for someone else's actions.

Friday, June 22, 2012

MR. WONDERFUL

He knows you want him.
You and every other living female entity on the planet. 
Ever run into this clown?  He's the guy you can't even say hello to without him thinking you want to take him to bed.  Because he knows you do.  Everyone does.
  He's Mr. Wonderful!  He could be toothless, bald as a peach, and butt ugly to boot, but when he looks in the mirror he sees an Adonis starring back at him. 
Mr. Wonderful usually preys on women with little to no self esteem.  Because they're the only ones who'll have him.  So steer clear of this fool ladies, or you'll spend the rest of your days listening to "The Wonders of Him."

Thursday, June 7, 2012

I'm Just Sayin: THE OFFICE SKANK

I'm Just Sayin: THE OFFICE SKANK:      If you've ever worked, chances are you've run across one at some point in your career.  But just on the off chance that you haven't, he...

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I'm Just Sayin: THE REAL HOUSEWIVES?

I'm Just Sayin: THE REAL HOUSEWIVES?: Desperate Housewives was a hit from the start with a world wide following.  Out of that show came a reality series called The Real Housewive...

I'm Just Sayin: ANIMAL ABUSE? YOU BET IT IS!!

I'm Just Sayin: ANIMAL ABUSE? YOU BET IT IS!!: I hate animal abuse and I think the laws prohibiting it are far to lenient. That being said I believe there is one institution that is give...

THE OFFICE SKANK

     If you've ever worked, chances are you've run across one at some point in your career.  But just on the off chance that you haven't, here's how you can tell an "Office Skank" when you see one.
     She sets her own hours and saunters in at any, and all times of the day.  She leaves whenever the mood strikes her.  You however, must be at your desk at the appointed time, and remain there until the work day is over.
     Same lunch time as everyone else? 
Oh hell no! She goes whenever she feels like it usually slipping out with the boss only to return hours later looking none the worse for ware, while you have to work in the time to take a piss because your allowed only the standard half hour lunch, and God help you should you try to leave early, or return later.
     She gets first pick of all the best vacation weeks and you find yourself having to work around her schedule in order to eek out a little time off.
     No dress code for this bitch as evidenced by the skirt she wears around her neck each day, or the "lip splitter" jeans tight enough to read the date on the dime in her pocket, along with that shirt that for some reason, just can't seem to stay buttoned up when the boss is around.  Add to this this the six inch spiked platform heels she wobbles around on and what you have there is "The Office Skank".
     And here you've been working your ass off for years for half the money this chick is getting paid and she's only been there a week.
     But don't you worry your hard working self about it because these Little bitches are nothing more than ass kissers in disguise with a killer bod, and a strippers wardrobe.  They, like their fellow ass kissers think they have a special rapport with the boss.  But there is a difference between your normal every day ass kisser and the office skank.
     The ass kisser can go on indefinitely kissing ass to achieve their goals, but the office skank has a shelf life that lasts only as long as that killer bod does.  Once those double D's start to sag and that tight little ass starts to look like a deflated balloon, the clock starts ticking on the office skank.  And unless she can keep her shape with those deep knee bends she's been doing in front of the boss, or she's lucky enough to snare him into marriage (a feat that's usually already been achieved by a prior office skank who was smart enough not to sign a pre-nup) she will one day find herself in the position of having nothing left to flaunt, and no "real" working experience.
     So the next time you come across an office skank don't sweat it because you won't have to come up with a way to get even.  Time will do that for you.  Just smile and think to yourself, Tic... toc....tic...toc, I'll be here long after she's done stroking the bosses...
      .....ego.
Thought I was gonna say something else didn't you.
    
    
    
    



Monday, March 19, 2012

You Might Be Out Of Touch

How come we never get an average person running for president? 
Every year people are forced to vote for candidates who have a shit load of money to campaign with, but just don't have a clue as to what it's like for the average American to make ends meet nowadays.
So in true Jeff Foxworthy form, here is a list of things that might mean you are to far out of touch with the average American to consider running for president.


If your anual income is a million dollars or more, and the hardest thing  you've done all year is master that tricky shot on the back nine, you might be out of touch with the average American.


If you don't have to pay for you own gas, or put it into your own car, you might be out of touch with the average American.


If you've never had to count your pennies in  the "Ten Items Or Less" isle at your local supermarket while illegal allians (draped in gold) in front of you pay for their two shopping carts full of food with their independence card, you might be out of touch with the average American.


If the hardest deicision you've had to make this year is which  privite school to send your kids to, or which tropical island to go to for vacation, you might be out of touch with the average American.


If you've never had to choose between food, medications, gas & electric, or gas for your car, you might be out of touch with the average American.

If you don't have to sqwint to read this because you can afford an eye exam and glasses, you might be out of touch with the average American.

If you can't make up your mind between the Mercedes, and the Rolls Royce, you might be out of touch with the average American.

If you think coupons are just part of the Sunday funny papers, you might be out of touch with the average American.

If your best friend and golfing buddy is your stockbroker, you might be out of touch with the average American.

If you don't lay awake at night because the noise from the forclosed home next door where illegal allians moved in with their 17 kids and 23 relatives is keeping you up,  you might be out of touch with the average American.

And finaly if you've never had to live within your means, you might be out of touch with the average American.

How about we get someone in there who knows what it's like to  live in the real world for a change?

Lord knows they couldn't do any worse.



Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Glass Slipper Syndrome

Ladies, let's talk about love!
Oh I love to be in love, don't you love to be in love?  Head over heels can't eat, can't sleep, lay awake at night love.
Yeah right.
It's all so hot a few months in when everyone is still pissing perfume and you'd sooner blow up then let one fly in front of the man of your dreams. 
But let's get real for a moment shall we?  because fairy tales are just that.
Remember Cinderella?  The poor girl who gets treated like shit by everyone around her  until she finally meets her prince charming and lives happily ever after.  Wonderful story right?  But in the real world, one day you just might meet up with that same prince who now has a glass slipper stuck up his ass after being thrown out of the castle when he got caught banging the chamber maid. 
 So take heed ladies,  Love is not a fairytale.
These things you must learn for yourself.
 Don't take Cindy's word for it. 
Cause that bitch ain't gonna tell ya nothin.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Ass Kissers

We all know one.  Most times you can recognise them by their shoes because everytime the boss turns around you see their feet hanging out of his ass.
These smarmy cirtters think they have a one up on everyone else.  A special "in" with upper management.  They walk around feeling empowered and "Oh so Special"  but here's what these suckups don't understand.  Bosses don't like ass kissers either. Oh they'll use them for whatever they need done, but they have no respect for them at all.  And more often then not, when the time comes, suckups usually end up in a place they never wanted to be,  And why? because the ass they've been kissing all this time want's it that way that's why.  So pay attention all you suckups out there because the ass your kissing today may very well be the one that farts in your face tomorrow.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Grammar Police

Every now and then you run into one of those "Oh I'm so much more intelligent then you are" type people who think they have the right to tell you what and how you should write.  These people take great delight in perusing any and all things literary just so they can pick out, and bitch about the tiniest error in grammar or punctuation.
Therefore, in an effort to clarify the situation, let me just state here publicly for all those "Grammar Police" who like to complain.  There is a simple solution to your problem. 
Don't read my blogs.  Nobody is forcing you to. 
And F.Y.I., no offence, but I don't really give a shit what you think. 
So there you go.  Problem solved.  Don't you feel better now?  I know I do.

Monday, February 20, 2012

What Ever Happend To "The Customer's Always Right"?

Been through a fast food drive through lately?
You pull up, give your order, they repeat it back to you, and you pick it up at the window. 
Sounds easy enough right? 
Until you get it home and realize you got nothing you ordered, no condiments at all, not even a napkin. and your just supposed to shut up and eat it.  Yet if I were to pull up to a drive through and say to them:
"Just throw something in a bag and give me a price because I never get what I order anyway"
they'd take offence.
I was in a local corner store just last week and asked the person behind the counter why an item was priced so high when I'd seen it at another store for a lower price and the response I got was:
"Well you don't have to buy it"
YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS I don't have to buy it, and I didn't either.  I've not set foot in that store since nor do I ever intend to in the future.
And don't you just love it when you pull into your local convenience store at 5:30am for coffee on your way to work  only to find there is none and then you see one of the two attendants in the store standing outside on a smoke break drinking a cup?
What the hell is happening here?
How come no one cares what the customer thinks anymore?  And how come consumers don't demand to know why?  Have we all just accepted the fact that the drive through attendant is just to lazy to care, or even want to try to get our orders right?
As hard as jobs are to find how come those who are lucky enough to have one don't give a rats ass if they do them right or not?  And how come they still get to work there with that kind of attitude to begin with?
Maybe if consumers just once demanded to be treated the way they should be and refuse to patronize places that don't provide good service they wouldn't have to waste time checking to make sure they got what they ordered. 
You wouldn't go to a doctor who didn't give a shit about you or his job, but you'll accept that kind of attitude everyplace else?
Have we become so politicaly correct that nowadays we just accept what ever kind of service we get good or bad and like it?  when did the motto go from:
"The customer is always right"
To:
"If you don't like it, you can go someplace else"??

ANIMAL ABUSE? YOU BET IT IS!!

I hate animal abuse and I think the laws prohibiting it are far to lenient.
That being said I believe there is one institution that is given a free pass on animal abuse simply because of what it is, and that institution would be The Veterinarians!..............
Yeah that's right, I said it. 
The Veterinarians.
If you don't believe me then check out the price of medical care for any animal and see how much it costs.   
How come P.E.T.A. isn't doing anything about that?
Where is the outrage when a person can't afford the medicine needed to treat their sick pet?  I've been in a veterinarian office when someone was forced to walk out with their still untreated pet because the vet would not even let them buy half the medication needed when they could not afford to buy the whole amount.  How does that happen anyway? And how can they get away with this?  Because no one is looking at them that's why.  Because  no one associates animal abuse with an animal clinic.
So step back and take a look at the big picture the next time you take your animal to a vet.
And give thanks if your able to afford the care your animal needs as there are far to many owners who's animals must suffer because they can't afford the price of a Veterinarian visit, or the medication they prescribe for treatment.
If that's not considered animal abuse then I don't know what is.

P.E.T.A.  Are you listening??