How come we never get an average person running for president?
Every year people are forced to vote for candidates who have a shit load of money to campaign with, but just don't have a clue as to what it's like for the average American to make ends meet nowadays.
So in true Jeff Foxworthy form, here is a list of things that might mean you are to far out of touch with the average American to consider running for president.
If your anual income is a million dollars or more, and the hardest thing you've done all year is master that tricky shot on the back nine, you might be out of touch with the average American.
If you don't have to pay for you own gas, or put it into your own car, you might be out of touch with the average American.
If you've never had to count your pennies in the "Ten Items Or Less" isle at your local supermarket while illegal allians (draped in gold) in front of you pay for their two shopping carts full of food with their independence card, you might be out of touch with the average American.
If the hardest deicision you've had to make this year is which privite school to send your kids to, or which tropical island to go to for vacation, you might be out of touch with the average American.
If you've never had to choose between food, medications, gas & electric, or gas for your car, you might be out of touch with the average American.
If you don't have to sqwint to read this because you can afford an eye exam and glasses, you might be out of touch with the average American.
If you can't make up your mind between the Mercedes, and the Rolls Royce, you might be out of touch with the average American.
If you think coupons are just part of the Sunday funny papers, you might be out of touch with the average American.
If your best friend and golfing buddy is your stockbroker, you might be out of touch with the average American.
If you don't lay awake at night because the noise from the forclosed home next door where illegal allians moved in with their 17 kids and 23 relatives is keeping you up, you might be out of touch with the average American.
And finaly if you've never had to live within your means, you might be out of touch with the average American.
How about we get someone in there who knows what it's like to live in the real world for a change?
Lord knows they couldn't do any worse.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
The Glass Slipper Syndrome
Ladies, let's talk about love!
Oh I love to be in love, don't you love to be in love? Head over heels can't eat, can't sleep, lay awake at night love.
Yeah right.
It's all so hot a few months in when everyone is still pissing perfume and you'd sooner blow up then let one fly in front of the man of your dreams.
But let's get real for a moment shall we? because fairy tales are just that.
Remember Cinderella? The poor girl who gets treated like shit by everyone around her until she finally meets her prince charming and lives happily ever after. Wonderful story right? But in the real world, one day you just might meet up with that same prince who now has a glass slipper stuck up his ass after being thrown out of the castle when he got caught banging the chamber maid.
So take heed ladies, Love is not a fairytale.
These things you must learn for yourself.
Don't take Cindy's word for it.
Cause that bitch ain't gonna tell ya nothin.
Oh I love to be in love, don't you love to be in love? Head over heels can't eat, can't sleep, lay awake at night love.
Yeah right.
It's all so hot a few months in when everyone is still pissing perfume and you'd sooner blow up then let one fly in front of the man of your dreams.
But let's get real for a moment shall we? because fairy tales are just that.
Remember Cinderella? The poor girl who gets treated like shit by everyone around her until she finally meets her prince charming and lives happily ever after. Wonderful story right? But in the real world, one day you just might meet up with that same prince who now has a glass slipper stuck up his ass after being thrown out of the castle when he got caught banging the chamber maid.
So take heed ladies, Love is not a fairytale.
These things you must learn for yourself.
Don't take Cindy's word for it.
Cause that bitch ain't gonna tell ya nothin.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Ass Kissers
We all know one. Most times you can recognise them by their shoes because everytime the boss turns around you see their feet hanging out of his ass.
These smarmy cirtters think they have a one up on everyone else. A special "in" with upper management. They walk around feeling empowered and "Oh so Special" but here's what these suckups don't understand. Bosses don't like ass kissers either. Oh they'll use them for whatever they need done, but they have no respect for them at all. And more often then not, when the time comes, suckups usually end up in a place they never wanted to be, And why? because the ass they've been kissing all this time want's it that way that's why. So pay attention all you suckups out there because the ass your kissing today may very well be the one that farts in your face tomorrow.
These smarmy cirtters think they have a one up on everyone else. A special "in" with upper management. They walk around feeling empowered and "Oh so Special" but here's what these suckups don't understand. Bosses don't like ass kissers either. Oh they'll use them for whatever they need done, but they have no respect for them at all. And more often then not, when the time comes, suckups usually end up in a place they never wanted to be, And why? because the ass they've been kissing all this time want's it that way that's why. So pay attention all you suckups out there because the ass your kissing today may very well be the one that farts in your face tomorrow.
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